“And Plankov could look completely different after 16 years. Cosmetic surgery, hair transplants…weight watchers.”-Jerome Brown.
A serial killer, the “the Riverton ripper”, swore to return and slay the seven children born on the night he died. Now 16 years later, someone is chasing down those children, but is it the ripper? The seven, as their known, will find out, even if they appear as disinterested as the audience.
It appears Wes Craven has lost any fire he once harnessed up on the screen and is instead more interested in cashing fat checks. How else do you explain “My Soul to Take”, a mish mash of every film he’s made since 1984, and far inferior to every one of them? If the quote above about weight watchers, which is in reference to the Riverton ripper coming back, didn’t give it away, then let me just spell it out for you: this script is all over the place bad. The plot is akin to floating down a river towards a waterfall, grabbing at any branch you can, trying to stave off the inevitable plunge onto the rocks below. To make matters worse, the Riverton Ripper (Raul Esparza) is a mix of ghost face (Scream), mixed with the one liners of the latter day, "sequelitis" stricken Freddy Krueger. This quite literally could have been A Nightmare on Elm Street part 24 as it follows the Craven pattern set many years ago. It’s a facsimile of a copy of a template that Craven burned out by 1996.
Freddy's Dead And No One Cares
The movie starts off with a bang-yes, a ridiculous in theory bang- but a bang nonetheless. Unfortunately, it gets bogged down almost immediately after that. What’s more perplexing than the fact that Craven both wrote and directed this mess is the tone he strikes-simply stated, this film has to be a comedy, as it does not function as a straight horror film, on any level. There are too many quotes like the aforementioned weight watchers groaner for anyone older than three to think My Soul to Take is intended to be scary. Maybe Craven is taking the piss, and the joke is on us.
For instance, in the beginning of the film, the cops crash a gathering of teenagers in the woods. As the teens are high tailing it out of there, one utters nonchalantly, “Police brutality” as he’s fleeing the scene. The cop then screams, from the squad car which is still speeding into the woods mind you, “I’ll show you police brutality!” Ignoring the fact that there’s no way the cop would hear the young man in the first place, what teen do you know that would say this while trying to escape the law? It just doesn’t compute on the reality scale. Nor do the mocking comments made by the killer, which are hysterical in an embarrassing sort of way, like this one: “F*** your unborn child!” The lines only get worse from there, and several are over the phone, ala Scream, in yet another example of the shameless Craven rehashing his own movies. Another sting of stupidity strikes when the detectives go to investigate a missing teen in the woods, and they find her purse lying on the ground. The detective kneels down by the purse and only realizes her dead body is a mere five feet in front of him when a cell phone, lying adjacent to her body, rings. A detective is so enthralled by a purse, he misses the dead girl with the severed head directly in front of him? Situations like this arise every five minutes, and there’s no excuse for it. There are enough examples of really oddly placed jokes that perhaps Craven is even in on it. Maybe he took the check and as a wink and nod to his real fans, he is literally laughing his way to the bank. Since I love (or loved) Wes Craven, I hope that’s the case.
The Riverton Ripper Enjoys Computer Graphics
Now all of this would be somewhat tolerable if the gore was astounding and plentiful. Sad to say, every bit of blood is extremely artificial looking CG. Fake, cartoonish blood; how lazy do you have to be to use CG blood effects when it’s so easy to do practically? I have done it myself with a pesticide sprayer filled with Karo syrup. That in a nutshell explains what’s wrong with this movie. It’s just pure, unadulterated laziness on the part of the writer and the director, who just so happen to be the same person.
To clarify, let me just say My Soul to Take isn't some masterful comedic project done under the guise of a horror film; that would be genius if pulled off. Like a Dr. Strangelove of horror, a truly inspired moment. No, this film is so bad, there’s just no other sensible explanation for its existence other than laughs. This film is so horrid it makes me question my own sanity as to why I’m commenting at such great lengths about it.
This is train wreck filmmaking at its best (or worst). I could watch this with a group of like minded individuals and have a good old time laughing at it. For those purposes, and those alone, this film is worth watching. It truly is so freaking bad, it’s mildly funny.
Wes Craven has really outdone himself this time. The film is as hideous as any released in the last ten years, and with his name being attached as both writer and director, the signs are quite clear: he really needs to retire while he’s ahead. That is if he truly is ahead anymore.
Double Feature With: Disturbing Behavior (1998)
